clumsygarbage.com website review

Shopify costs a phone 113 ms of main-thread work and 340 KiB of downloads while your page loads. Loading it after the page is usable, or only on the pages that need it, takes that off the critical path.

1 image could be 13 KiB smaller with modern formats (WebP or AVIF) and sizes that fit a phone screen. Google estimates it would make the page about 150 ms faster on a phone.

2 third-party services load with your homepage (Shopify and shop.app), adding 387 KiB and 119 ms of main-thread time.

5 files block the first paint until they finish downloading. Deferring or inlining them could save about 150 ms.

1 long task block the main thread while loading, the longest for 57 ms. During a long task the page ignores taps.

About 38 KiB of CSS is downloaded but never applied on this page.

5 files are served with short cache lifetimes, so returning visitors download them again (16 KiB).

Critical files load one after another instead of in parallel (3 chains). Preconnecting to key origins and preloading the hero image shortens the chain.

Scripts make the browser recalculate the layout repeatedly while the page loads, which wastes processor time on phones.

The page becomes fully interactive after 4.7 s. Good is under 3.8 s.

Your largest element takes 2.9 s to render on a phone. Google's threshold for “good” is 2.5 s. The largest element is the image.

Chrome's UX Report (opens in a new tab) has too little real-visitor traffic for this site, so the figures here are lab measurements from Google's test phone on a throttled 4G connection.

By the Sustainable Web Design model, a visit to your homepage emits about 0.44 g of CO₂e: 53.1 kg a year at 10,000 visits a month. It scales with page weight, so every byte cut lowers it.

Headings skip levels (h2 → h4), which makes the page harder to scan with a screen reader.

No meta description, so Google writes its own snippet from whatever text it finds.

Your title is only 14 characters: “clumsy garbage”. Between 30 and 65 characters leaves room to say what you do and for whom.

No Open Graph image, so links shared on LinkedIn, Slack or Facebook show no preview picture.

No favicon is declared in the HTML, so browser tabs and Google's mobile results may show a generic icon.

The homepage links to 24 pages on clumsygarbage.com and 0 external pages.

Your Organization JSON-LD is missing logo, sameAs (social profiles), description and contact details. These are the facts AI assistants use to describe a business and to tell it apart from others with a similar name.

/pages/art, /pages/apparel-1, /pages/contact, /pages/about and /collections/all have no meta description, so Google writes the search snippet from whatever text it finds.

/pages/art, /pages/apparel-1, /pages/about and /collections/all have no <h1> headline, so visitors and search engines get no clear main topic.

We fetched 10 pages linked from your homepage and read each the way a search engine does.

5 of 8 tappable elements near the top of the page are smaller than 24 px, hard to hit with a thumb.

1 error was logged to the browser console while the page loaded, for example “Failed to load resource: the server responded with a status of 404 ()”.

HSTS is set, but max-age is 91 days; one year is the recommended minimum.

1 link go through two or more redirects, for example https://clumsygarbage.com/customer_authentication/redirect?locale=en&region_country=US.

No Referrer-Policy header, so full URLs can leak to the sites you link to.

No Permissions-Policy header to switch off camera, microphone and location for embedded content.

X-XSS-Protection is set to “1; mode=block”; the header is deprecated and can introduce bugs. Use 0 or remove it.

There is no /.well-known/security.txt telling researchers how to report a security problem to you.

clumsygarbage.com has no CAA record, so any certificate authority may issue a certificate for it. A CAA record naming your provider (for example letsencrypt.org) closes that door.

clumsygarbage.com's DNS answers are not signed. DNSSEC stops attackers forging them to send visitors or email elsewhere; most registrars switch it on in a click, though most sites still run without it.

No testimonials, customer logos, ratings or customer counts on the homepage: nothing tells a new visitor that others already trust you.

No analytics or tag manager detected in the HTML, so you can't measure whether any of these fixes work.

No phone number or email link on the homepage, so ready-to-buy visitors have one fewer way to reach you.

The homepage has only about 12 words of visible text; thin pages give Google and first-time buyers little to go on.

No guarantee or risk reducer (money-back, free trial, no credit card) is mentioned, which is often what tips a hesitant visitor.

DMARC is set to p=none, so mail pretending to be clumsygarbage.com is still delivered. Add a report address, check the reports, then move to quarantine.

We found no DKIM key on the selectors the big email providers use. If you send through one of them, turning on DKIM signing improves delivery.

Email authentication: SPF record 25 points, plus 15 when it ends in -all (10 for ~all); DMARC record 25, plus 25 for a reject policy (15 for quarantine); a DKIM key on a common selector 10.

Opening the homepage sets 6 cookies (measured from a US location before any click).

No known cookie consent tool loads with the page. Some sites build their own banner, and some only show one to visitors from the EU.

Loading the homepage contacts 4 hosts run by other companies (fonts, scripts, analytics, ads), each of which sees the visitor's IP address.