evilgoods.com website review

Not measured in this review.

• Fails Core Web Vitals for real visitors

  Real Chrome users on phones do not pass Google's Core Web Vitals on your site (28-day field data from the Chrome UX Report (opens in a new tab)). Google uses this in ranking.

• Real-user LCP: 2.7 s

  2.7 s

  Real visitors wait 2.7 s for the largest content to appear (75th percentile). Good is under 2.5 s.

• Real-user INP: 355 ms

  355 ms

  Real visitors wait 355 ms for the page to respond to a tap (75th percentile). Good is under 200 ms.

• Tap response (INP) got 96% slower for real visitors

  +96%

  Over the last 25 four-week periods to 2026-11-07, real Chrome visitors' tap response (inp) went from 179 ms to 347 ms at the 75th percentile (Chrome UX Report (opens in a new tab) history).

• Real-user FCP: 2.1 s

  2.1 s

  Real visitors see the first content after 2.1 s (75th percentile). Good is under 1.8 s.

• Largest content (LCP) held steady for real visitors

  +7%

  Over the last 25 four-week periods to 2026-11-07, real Chrome visitors' largest content (lcp) went from 2.5 s to 2.7 s at the 75th percentile (Chrome UX Report (opens in a new tab) history).

• Page weight: 6.3 MB

  6.3 MB

  Your homepage downloads 6.3 MB on a phone, 1.5 MB of it images (24%). Under 2 MB keeps phones on slow connections fast.

• 8 images below the first screen load straight away

  8 images further down the page (520 KiB) download before anyone scrolls to them. Adding loading="lazy" lets the first screen load first.

  Elements (5)

• 4 images far larger than shown

  69 KiB

  4 images are downloaded at several times the size a phone draws them, for example SHOP_ALL.png at 574 px wide, shown at 169 px. Resized copies would save about 69 KiB.

  Elements (4)

• About 1.8 g of CO₂ per visit

  1.79 g

  By the Sustainable Web Design model, a visit to your homepage emits about 1.79 g of CO₂e: 214.6 kg a year at 10,000 visits a month. It scales with page weight, so every byte cut lowers it.

• 2 buttons without a name

  2 buttons have no accessible name, so screen readers announce just “button”.

  Elements (2)

• 47 text elements with low contrast

  47 text elements don't have enough contrast against the background to read easily, especially outdoors on a phone.

  Elements (3)

• 30 tap targets too small

  30 tap targets are too small or too close together to hit reliably with a finger.

  Elements (3)

• ARIA commands must have an accessible name (17 elements)

  ARIA commands must have an accessible name: 17 elements on the page fail this check, rated serious by axe-core.

  Elements (3)

• Interactive controls must not be nested (1 element)

  Interactive controls must not be nested: 1 element on the page fails this check, rated serious by axe-core.

  Elements (1)

• 2 images without alt text

  2 images have no alt text, which hurts accessibility and image search.

  View sourceElements (3)

• All page content should be contained by landmarks (6 elements)

  All page content should be contained by landmarks: 6 elements on the page fail this check, rated moderate by axe-core.

  Elements (3)

• Heading levels should only increase by one (3 elements)

  Heading levels should only increase by one: 3 elements on the page fail this check, rated moderate by axe-core.

  Elements (3)

• Landmarks should have a unique role or role/label/title (i.e. accessible name) combination (2 elements)

  Landmarks should have a unique role or role/label/title (i.e. accessible name) combination: 2 elements on the page fail this check, rated moderate by axe-core.

  Elements (2)

• ARIA role should be appropriate for the element (22 elements)

  ARIA role should be appropriate for the element: 22 elements on the page fail this check, rated minor by axe-core.

  Elements (3)

• No H1 headline

  There is no <h1>, so neither visitors nor Google get a clear main headline.

• 43 internal links, 5 external

  The homepage links to 43 pages on evilgoods.com and 5 external pages.

• Most text only appears after JavaScript runs

  11%

  A phone browser shows 2,109 words, but the HTML your server sends has only 232. GPTBot, ClaudeBot and PerplexityBot read that HTML without running JavaScript, so they see an almost empty page. Server-side rendering or pre-rendering fixes it.

• 1 page without a title

  https://evilgoods.com/customer_authentication/redirect has no <title>, so Google invents the link text in results.

  Elements (1)

• 1 linked page hidden from search

  https://evilgoods.com/customer_authentication/redirect is marked noindex but linked from your homepage. If it is meant to be found, remove the noindex.

  Elements (1)

• 3 pages without a meta description

  https://evilgoods.com/collections/all, https://evilgoods.com/customer_authentication/redirect and https://evilgoods.com/policies/shipping-policy have no meta description, so Google writes the search snippet from whatever text it finds.

  Elements (3)

• 3 pages without an H1

  https://evilgoods.com/customer_authentication/redirect, https://evilgoods.com/products/magnesium-balm and https://evilgoods.com/products/copper-peptide-blue-honey-cream have no <h1> headline, so visitors and search engines get no clear main topic.

• 15 internal pages checked

  We fetched 15 pages linked from your homepage (of 19 found) and read each the way a search engine does.

• 2 broken images

  2 images failed to load on a phone, for example https://files.alia-prod.com/12190/5465cef4cc10baab.webp.

• 9 small tap targets

  9 of 25 tappable elements near the top of the page are smaller than 24 px, hard to hit with a thumb.

• 3 JavaScript errors while loading

  3 errors were logged to the browser console while the page loaded, for example “Failed to load resource: net::ERR_FAILED”.

• No social proof

  No testimonials, customer logos, ratings or customer counts on the homepage: nothing tells a new visitor that others already trust you.

• No direct contact details

  No phone number or email link on the homepage, so ready-to-buy visitors have one fewer way to reach you.

• No map or directions link

  There is no link to Google or Apple Maps. A directions link is one tap for a phone visitor.

• About 2,109 words of copy

  The homepage carries about 2,109 words of visible text.

• 11 trackers load before any consent

  11

  Before a visitor clicks anything, the page loads Google Ads, Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, Klaviyo and Meta Pixel and 6 mores (measured from a US location before any click). No consent tool was detected. Visitors from the EU, UK and several US states must be asked first.

• 41 cookies set on arrival

  41

  Opening the homepage sets 41 cookies (measured from a US location before any click).

• No consent tool detected

  No known cookie consent tool loads with the page. Some sites build their own banner, and some only show one to visitors from the EU.

• 61 other companies contacted

  Loading the homepage contacts 61 hosts run by other companies (fonts, scripts, analytics, ads), each of which sees the visitor's IP address.