hezzahez.com website review

5 third-party services load with your homepage (Tumblr, Google/Doubleclick Ads and Scorecard Research and others), adding 2.4 MB and 1.1 s of main-thread time.

Tumblr costs a phone 945 ms of main-thread work and 2.1 MB of downloads while your page loads. Loading it after the page is usable, or only on the pages that need it, takes that off the critical path.

Your mobile performance score is 73. Pages that score under 90 lose visitors before the first paint.

About 437 KiB of JavaScript is downloaded but never used on this page.

5 files block the first paint until they finish downloading. Deferring or inlining them could save about 300 ms.

A phone's processor spends 2.3 s on main-thread work while loading, 973 ms of it running JavaScript. Above 2 s, taps and scrolls feel sluggish.

4 long tasks block the main thread while loading, the longest for 242 ms. During a long task the page ignores taps.

Web fonts hide text while they load. Setting font-display: swap shows text immediately (about 50 ms).

About 29 KiB of CSS is downloaded but never applied on this page.

Critical files load one after another instead of in parallel (3 chains). Preconnecting to key origins and preloading the hero image shortens the chain.

Scripts make the browser recalculate the layout repeatedly while the page loads, which wastes processor time on phones.

1 image could be 5 KiB smaller with modern formats (WebP or AVIF) and sizes that fit a phone screen.

The page becomes fully interactive after 15.2 s. Good is under 3.8 s.

Your largest element takes 3.7 s to render on a phone. Google's threshold for “good” is 2.5 s. The largest element is the image “👀 vroom vroom https://www.instagram.com/p/CXQDxVeBYCPqfjtO…”.

Visually, the page fills in at 5.3 s (Speed Index). Good is under 3.4 s.

Scripts block taps and scrolling for 453 ms in total while the page loads. Good is under 200 ms.

The first text or image appears after 1.8 s on a phone. Good is under 1.8 s.

Chrome's UX Report (opens in a new tab) has too little real-visitor traffic for this site, so the figures here are lab measurements from Google's test phone on a throttled 4G connection.

Your homepage downloads 6.4 MB in 189 requests on a phone: scripts 3.6 MB (111), images 1.4 MB (22) and stylesheets 1.1 MB (30). Under 2 MB keeps phones on slow connections fast.

8 images (1.3 MB) are JPEG, PNG or GIF. The same pictures as WebP or AVIF are usually much smaller at the same quality, and every current browser shows them.

5 images further down the page (831 KiB) download before anyone scrolls to them. Adding loading="lazy" lets the first screen load first.

By the Sustainable Web Design model, a visit to your homepage emits about 1.82 g of CO₂e: 217.9 kg a year at 10,000 visits a month. It scales with page weight, so every byte cut lowers it.

15 frames have no title, so screen-reader users cannot tell what they contain.

<html> element must have a lang attribute: 1 element on the page fails this check, rated serious by axe-core.

All page content should be contained by landmarks: 11 elements on the page fail this check, rated moderate by axe-core.

The page has no <main> landmark, so screen-reader users cannot jump straight to the content.

Landmarks should have a unique role or role/label/title (i.e. accessible name) combination: 1 element on the page fails this check, rated moderate by axe-core.

The viewport tag blocks pinch-zoom, which low-vision visitors rely on.

21 visible links have no text or label, so screen readers cannot say where they go.

Headings skip levels (h1 → h5), which makes the page harder to scan with a screen reader.

The robots meta tag says “noindex”: Google is told not to list this page at all.

No meta description, so Google writes its own snippet from whatever text it finds.

Google's crawler is blocked from indexing this page.

Your title is only 14 characters: “Fantastic Baby”. Between 30 and 65 characters leaves room to say what you do and for whom.

No XML sitemap at https://www.hezzahez.com/sitemap.xml, so Google discovers your pages only by following links.

Open Graph is missing og:description, so shared links fall back to guesses.

The homepage links to 20 pages on hezzahez.com and 20 external pages.

There is no Organization (or LocalBusiness) JSON-LD, so search engines and AI assistants have no machine-readable facts about who runs the site: its name, logo, profiles and contact details.

There is no https://www.hezzahez.com/llms.txt, a short Markdown guide to your key pages for AI tools (llmstxt.org). It is optional and few AI tools read it yet, so treat it as a cheap extra.

robots.txt blocks ClaudeBot, Google-Extended, Applebot-Extended and CCBot, which collect pages to train models. That's a legitimate choice and doesn't by itself stop the site appearing in AI answers, which the crawlers above handle.

https://www.hezzahez.com/rss has no <title>, so Google invents the link text in results.

https://www.hezzahez.com/ask, https://www.hezzahez.com/random, https://www.hezzahez.com/post/670070373177556992/vroom-vroom, https://www.hezzahez.com/post/669706069271019520/and-then-he-ate-sand-at-%E6%B5%B7%E5%8D%97%E5%B3%B6, https://www.hezzahez.com/post/659391239861501952/first-things-first and https://www.hezzahez.com/post/654054413918502912/celebrating-4-years-at-aria-restaurant and 7 others are marked noindex but linked from your homepage. If they are meant to be found, remove the noindex.

/ and https://www.hezzahez.com/page/2 all use the title “Fantastic Baby”. Search engines can't tell which page to show for a search, so each competes with the others.

https://www.hezzahez.com/ask, https://www.hezzahez.com/archive, https://www.hezzahez.com/rss and https://www.hezzahez.com/page/2 have no meta description, so Google writes the search snippet from whatever text it finds.

https://www.hezzahez.com/archive and https://www.hezzahez.com/rss have no <h1> headline, so visitors and search engines get no clear main topic.

https://www.hezzahez.com/archive has under 150 words in the HTML. Thin pages rarely rank; if the text loads with JavaScript, crawlers that don't run it see even less.

We fetched 15 pages linked from your homepage (of 18 found) and read each the way a search engine does.

No viewport meta tag, so phones render the desktop layout zoomed out.

The page uses 1 deprecated browser API that will stop working in future browsers (“Unload event listeners are deprecated and will be removed.”).

1 error was logged to the browser console while the page loaded, for example “ErrorUtils caught an error: Got unexpected null or undefined Subsequent non-fatal errors won't be logged; see https://f…”.

Chrome logged issues while loading the page (“Cookie”).

On a phone, there is no call to action on the first screen: visitors have to scroll to find out what to do next.

We found no call-to-action buttons or links (such as “Book a demo” or “Get a quote”) anywhere on the homepage.

No testimonials, customer logos, ratings or customer counts on the homepage: nothing tells a new visitor that others already trust you.

No analytics or tag manager detected in the HTML, so you can't measure whether any of these fixes work.

No phone number or email link on the homepage, so ready-to-buy visitors have one fewer way to reach you.

The homepage has only about 79 words of visible text; thin pages give Google and first-time buyers little to go on.

No guarantee or risk reducer (money-back, free trial, no credit card) is mentioned, which is often what tips a hesitant visitor.

Before a visitor clicks anything, the page loads Comscore and Google Ads (measured from a US location before any click). No consent tool was detected. Visitors from the EU, UK and several US states must be asked first.

No known cookie consent tool loads with the page. Some sites build their own banner, and some only show one to visitors from the EU.

Loading the homepage contacts 10 hosts run by other companies (fonts, scripts, analytics, ads), each of which sees the visitor's IP address.