probablysmut.com website review

20 files block the first paint until they finish downloading. Deferring or inlining them could save about 2.3 s.

18 files are served with short cache lifetimes, so returning visitors download them again (306 KiB).

A phone's processor spends 4.6 s on main-thread work while loading, 1.9 s of it running JavaScript. Above 2 s, taps and scrolls feel sluggish.

8 third-party services load with your homepage (Shopify, loox.io and Klaviyo and others), adding 2.0 MB and 1.2 s of main-thread time.

Your mobile performance score is 59. Pages that score under 90 lose visitors before the first paint.

About 466 KiB of JavaScript is downloaded but never used on this page. Google estimates it would make the page about 300 ms faster on a phone.

Shopify costs a phone 313 ms of main-thread work and 806 KiB of downloads while your page loads. Loading it after the page is usable, or only on the pages that need it, takes that off the critical path.

loox.io costs a phone 278 ms of main-thread work and 619 KiB of downloads while your page loads. Loading it after the page is usable, or only on the pages that need it, takes that off the critical path.

22 images could be 294 KiB smaller with modern formats (WebP or AVIF) and sizes that fit a phone screen.

The page has 2,334 HTML elements. Above 1,500, rendering and every interaction get slower on phones.

Klaviyo costs a phone 187 ms of main-thread work and 309 KiB of downloads while your page loads. Loading it after the page is usable, or only on the pages that need it, takes that off the critical path.

Polyfills for old browsers add 42 KiB JavaScript that modern phones do not need. Google estimates it would make the page about 150 ms faster on a phone.

8 long tasks block the main thread while loading, the longest for 156 ms. During a long task the page ignores taps.

Web fonts hide text while they load. Setting font-display: swap shows text immediately (about 50 ms).

Critical files load one after another instead of in parallel (3 chains). Preconnecting to key origins and preloading the hero image shortens the chain.

Scripts make the browser recalculate the layout repeatedly while the page loads, which wastes processor time on phones.

The page becomes fully interactive after 15.1 s. Good is under 3.8 s.

Your largest element takes 6.2 s to render on a phone. Google's threshold for “good” is 2.5 s. The largest element is the image.

Visually, the page fills in at 7.3 s (Speed Index). Good is under 3.4 s.

The layout shifts by 0.184 while loading, so content jumps under the reader's thumb. Good is under 0.1.

The first text or image appears after 2.0 s on a phone. Good is under 1.8 s.

Over the last 25 four-week periods to 2026-10-31, real Chrome visitors' tap response (inp) went from 88 ms to 104 ms at the 75th percentile (Chrome UX Report (opens in a new tab) history).

Over the last 25 four-week periods to 2026-10-31, real Chrome visitors' largest content (lcp) went from 1.1 s to 1.1 s at the 75th percentile (Chrome UX Report (opens in a new tab) history).

Your homepage downloads 4.2 MB in 423 requests on a phone: scripts 1.4 MB (139), images 1.3 MB (61) and other files 1,005 KiB (172). Under 2 MB keeps phones on slow connections fast.

Winter_Box_26_Banner.png is on the first screen but marked loading="lazy", so the browser waits before fetching it and the page looks finished later. Load it eagerly (and give it fetchpriority="high" if it is the main image).

By the Sustainable Web Design model, a visit to your homepage emits about 1.18 g of CO₂e: 141.7 kg a year at 10,000 visits a month. It scales with page weight, so every byte cut lowers it.

1 image has no alt text, which hurts accessibility and image search.

1 visible link has no text or label, so screen readers cannot say where it goes.

Your title is only 13 characters: “probably smut”. Between 30 and 65 characters leaves room to say what you do and for whom.

Your meta description is only 34 characters: “romance book merch for smut lovers”. 70 to 160 characters is enough to sell the click.

Your <h1> is empty.

The homepage links to 227 pages on probablysmut.com and 10 external pages.

There is no https://probablysmut.com/llms.txt, a short Markdown guide to your key pages for AI tools (llmstxt.org). It is optional and few AI tools read it yet, so treat it as a cheap extra.

https://probablysmut.com/collections/fall-2026, https://probablysmut.com/collections/best-sellers, https://probablysmut.com/collections/hockey-drop, https://probablysmut.com/collections/summer-graphic-tees, https://probablysmut.com/collections/mix-match and https://probablysmut.com/collections/hats-2025 and 7 others have no meta description, so Google writes the search snippet from whatever text it finds.

https://probablysmut.com/collections/fall-2026, https://probablysmut.com/collections/best-sellers, https://probablysmut.com/collections/hockey-drop, https://probablysmut.com/collections/summer-graphic-tees, https://probablysmut.com/collections/mix-match and https://probablysmut.com/collections/hats-2025 and 7 others have no <h1> headline, so visitors and search engines get no clear main topic.

We fetched 15 pages linked from your homepage (of 81 found) and read each the way a search engine does.

4 errors were logged to the browser console while the page loaded, for example “Failed to load resource: net::ERR_BLOCKED_BY_RESPONSE.NotSameOrigin”.

No analytics or tag manager detected in the HTML, so you can't measure whether any of these fixes work.

No phone number or email link on the homepage, so ready-to-buy visitors have one fewer way to reach you.

No guarantee or risk reducer (money-back, free trial, no credit card) is mentioned, which is often what tips a hesitant visitor.

The homepage carries about 377 words of visible text.

Before a visitor clicks anything, the page loads Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, Klaviyo, Meta Pixel and Pinterest Tag and 1 more (measured from a US location before any click). No consent tool was detected. Visitors from the EU, UK and several US states must be asked first.

Opening the homepage sets 22 cookies, 1 of them by other companies (measured from a US location before any click).

No known cookie consent tool loads with the page. Some sites build their own banner, and some only show one to visitors from the EU.

Loading the homepage contacts 38 hosts run by other companies (fonts, scripts, analytics, ads), each of which sees the visitor's IP address.